Selective-focus Photography of Orange Petaled Flower

"It's not the load that weighs you down, it's how you carry it."
- C.S. Lewis

I have recently become overwhelmed by everything that I want to do and everything that I want to be.

+  I want to be a good daughter
+  I want to be a good sister
+  I want to be a good friend
+  I want to make more of an effort with people in my life
+  I want to meet more people
+  I want to be a good employee
+  I want to finish my law degree
+  I want to become a lawyer
+  I want to meet someone to spend the rest of my life with
+  I want a family
+  I want to focus on my health and fitness journey
+  I want to listen to podcasts
+  I want to read all the books
+  I want to get back into playing guitar and writing songs
+  I want to have fun
+  I want to travel
+  I want to meditate daily
+  I want to have my own plant family
+  I want to grow my own vegetables
+  I want to go to the gym
+  I want to look after myself
+  I want to write more blog posts
+  I want to capture my life in photos and videos more
+  I want to become a better cook
+  I want a side hustle
+  I want to own my own house
+  I want to be successful in my career
+  I want to figure out who I am and what my purpose is

... I'm sure I could go on forever!

My point is, I put a huge amount of pressure on myself.  I want so much from my life that I end up feeling overwhelmed when I look at all of the things I'm not doing.  I need to remind myself sometimes that it's not possible to do all the things, regardless of how desperately I want to, and instead focus on what I am achieving.

For me, that is holding down my full time job, finishing my law degree, my health and fitness journey and spending time with my family.

That's enough for now.  Everything else will fall into place when it's supposed to.

Love always, 
- G. 

Swiping Left To Online Dating

"I believe with all my heart that the cliches are true, that we are our own best friends and best company, and that if you're not right for yourself, it's impossible to be right for anyone." 
— Rachel Machacek, The Science of Single: One Woman's Grand Experiment in Modern Dating, Creating Chemistry, and Finding Love. 

I'm sure there are a whole lot of people out there who have tried some form of online dating before.  Whether it's Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, or whatever, there's too many to keep up with!

I've been on and off many different dating sites for the last few years with mixed success and many interesting stories (I'll have to write a separate post about these haha).  I made lots of matches, chatted to heaps of different guys and even went on a few dates.

With that being said... at the end of last year I decided that in 2019 I would delete my online dating profiles.

Here's why...

Things In My Life That I Can Control

"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't."
- Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

  1. My attitude
  2. What I think about
  3. What I talk about
  4. How honest I am
  5. How I interpret situations
  6. How kind I am to others
  7. How kind I am to myself
  8. How I express my feelings
  9. How much time I spend worrying
  10. The amount of effort I put in
  11. How I prioritise and spend my time
  12. The boundaries I set
  13. How well I prepare
  14. Whether I try again when I get knocked down
  15. How much control I really have

I am so guilty of trying to control every aspect of my life, even when it is something that I have no control over whatsoever.  The things that I have no control over are often the things that play on my mind the most.  In an effort to curb that bad habit I have made this list to remind myself of the things in my life that I can control. 

Whether it's what I make myself for breakfast or how I let others opinions affect me, everything I do in my life is a choice.  With every decision I make I am able to choose what brings the strongest sense of light back into my life and those around me.  The other choice is the one that feels easy and is often the one that is the least rewarding, resulting in a feeling of nothingness.  No one can make this choice for me.  I need to grab the wheel of this thing called life and steer myself in the direction I want to go.  The road may be long and winding, and I may not always know what lies around the next corner, but I'll be sure to load the car up with snacks and bop along to some sweet beats while I dodge the potholes along the way (Christchurch roads - I tell ya!). 

Remember; there is no right path, or easier path, just different ones. 

Love always, 
- G.